That Was The Week That Was

Or - 6th Form Politics....

The week in British politics has been the usual carnival of chaos, hypocrisy, and hand-wringing that we’ve come to expect from this lot in Westminster. If you’re sitting there with your morning coffee—or whatever passes for it these days—wondering why the country feels like it’s being run by a bunch of out-of-touch bureaucrats who couldn’t organise a pint in a pub, well, pull up a chair. This one’s a doozy.

Let’s start with the big show: Keir Starmer’s grand European adventure at the Munich Security Conference. Our earnest prime minister jets off to Germany, meets Ursula von der Leyen, and delivers what he thinks is a barnstorming speech about ditching the “Britain of the Brexit years.” He wants closer ties on defence, economy, technology—the lot. He’s banging on about “hard power,” deploying a carrier strike group to the North Atlantic, and warning we must be ready to fight. Bold words from a man whose domestic record looks like a car crash in slow motion.

Starmer tells the Europeans we’re not the awkward squad anymore. We’re back at the table, sleeves rolled up, ready for integration. Fine words, but let’s be honest: this is the same Starmer who spent years telling us Brexit was done and dusted, only to now admit—quietly, of course—that maybe it wasn’t such a brilliant idea after all. The public aren’t daft. They remember the promises. They remember the red wall crumbling because Labour treated them like second-class citizens. And now he’s cosying up to Brussels again? It’s like watching a man who burned his house down suddenly decide he misses the central heating.

And the timing? Perfect. While Starmer’s playing statesman abroad, back home the knives are out. The Epstein files scandal refuses to die. Peter Mandelson—yes, that Peter Mandelson—has been dragged through the mud over his ties to Jeffrey Epstein. The man was ambassador to the US, got the boot, resigned from Labour, and now US Congress wants him to chat about it. Starmer called the appointment a “mistake.” Understatement of the year. This isn’t just a bad hire; it’s a glaring error of judgment that has people asking what on earth the PM was thinking. The left wing of his party is sharpening blades, the centrists are muttering, and even some of his own MPs are wondering if he’s got the bottle to carry on.

There was real peril earlier in the week. Chief of staff Morgan McSweeney resigned—apparently the pressure cooker finally blew. For a couple of hours, it looked like Starmer might actually walk the plank. But no, he dug in, pledged he’d lead Labour into the next election, and told the Sun on Sunday he’s not going anywhere. Brave words, but the polls don’t lie, and neither do the headlines screaming about trust crises and U-turns. The man’s emanating blandness, as one wag put it, and the country is shrouded in gloom.

Meanwhile, the foreign secretary Yvette Cooper is out there accusing Reform UK and the Greens of being “soft on Russia” and “weak on Nato.” She’s at Munich too, denying the PM’s rattled. But come on, Yvette—this is the party that got a kicking at the last election partly because people felt Labour was out of touch on security and immigration. Now you’re lecturing Nigel Farage’s outfit while Starmer’s pivoting back to Europe? It’s rich.

Speaking of Reform, the circus continues on the right. Rupert Lowe—remember him? The bloke who fell out with Farage—has launched his new “Restore Britain” party. He’s in Great Yarmouth, promising mass deportations, backed by some far-right figures and apparently Elon Musk’s nod. “Millions will have to go,” he says to cheers. Whether it’s serious or just another splinter group destined for the dustbin, it shows the right is fracturing further. Reform’s already accused of Russian money ties in old debates, and now this. The whole scene looks like a bad episode of House of Cards scripted by amateurs.

Defence chiefs from Britain and Germany have penned a joint letter urging rearmament—not warmongering, they say, but a “moral” case to prepare for Russia. It’s sobering stuff. The threat’s real, they argue, and we need to spend more, build more, fight if necessary. Starmer’s echoing that, talking up European defence integration. But where’s the money coming from? Taxes are sky-high, the economy’s barely growing, and people are struggling with bills. You can’t preach rearmament while the NHS waits lists grow and schools crumble. Priorities, anyone?

Parliament’s been debating Russian influence again—old petitions, old worries about interference in Brexit and elections. It’s all very worthy, but feels like closing the stable door after the horse has bolted, galloped to Moscow, and sent a postcard.

And let’s not forget the domestic bits: National Apprenticeship Week, some pension debates, school estates plans announced at PMQs. Kemi Badenoch grilling Starmer, as she does. But it all feels like background noise against the bigger drama.

This week has shown us what happens when a government loses momentum. Starmer survived—barely—but the questions linger. Is he a leader or a manager? Can he unite his party, let alone the country? The Munich pivot might play well in salons, but on the streets of Britain, people want results, not resets.

The truth is, folks, Westminster is a bubble. They talk grand strategy while we pay the bills. They jet to conferences while we queue at food banks. They lecture about threats abroad while ignoring the rot at home. Until someone—anyone—starts speaking plain English and delivering, we’ll keep getting more of the same.

So here’s to another week survived. God help us for the next one.

Cheers,

Mike