STARMER THE BARE-FACED LIAR

Monday 20 April 2026

You really couldn’t make this up, could you? Keir Starmer, the man who promised us integrity, competence and a return to “forensic” politics, stood at the despatch box today for over two gruelling hours looking like a rabbit caught in the headlights of an oncoming HGV. And what was his rock-solid defence for the Mandelson vetting fiasco? “Nobody told me.”

Oh, pull the other one, Prime Minister. This is the same Keir Starmer who used to run the Crown Prosecution Service. The same chap who built his entire reputation on being Mr Details, the careful lawyer who never missed a trick. Suddenly, when it comes to one of the most sensitive diplomatic appointments in years – our man in Washington – he’s playing the helpless innocent who was kept in the dark by wicked civil servants.

Let’s get this straight. Peter Mandelson, the Prince of Darkness himself, failed his security vetting. Red flags everywhere. Yet somehow he still ended up as Britain’s ambassador to the United States. Starmer insists “full due process” was followed. He told Parliament as much. Now it turns out the process was about as due as a bus that never turned up. And his response? He was “staggered” and “unforgivable” that senior mandarins didn’t flag it.

Staggered? The only thing staggering here is the sheer brass neck of the man. If you’re the Prime Minister appointing someone to one of the most important jobs in government, involving access to the highest levels of American intelligence, wouldn’t you – oh, I don’t know – maybe ask a few basic questions? Like, “Has he actually passed the vetting?” Or “Any skeletons we should know about before we ship him off to the White House?”

But no. Starmer’s opening statement was a halting, unbelievable masterclass in buck-passing. It was all the civil servants’ fault. They didn’t tell him. Poor Keir was left blinking in the dark while the grown-ups made the decisions. Most people watching at home weren’t buying it for a second. They were wondering why on earth the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom didn’t once pick up the phone or demand a briefing before rubber-stamping Mandelson’s dream posting.

The opposition didn’t hold back – and quite right too. Kemi Badenoch fired off six forensic questions that Starmer danced around like a man with hot coals in his pockets. He didn’t answer a single one properly. Then in came Sir Ed Davey, asking the obvious: why didn’t Starmer even seem curious about the appointment process? Was he that desperate to park his old mate in a cushy Washington job?

But the real killer blow came from his own side. Veteran Labour MP Diane Abbott – not exactly known for pulling punches – asked the simplest, deadliest question of the lot: “Why didn’t you ask about Mandelson – ever – before he was appointed as ambassador?”

You could have heard a pin drop. Starmer had no decent answer. Because there isn’t one. This wasn’t some junior civil service mix-up. This was the Prime Minister failing to do basic due diligence on a controversial appointment that was always going to raise eyebrows.

The chamber was electric with accusations that he’d misled the House. From all sides, MPs queued up to suggest Starmer had been less than straight with Parliament. And then came the fireworks. Lee Anderson, never one to mince his words, called it as he saw it – accusing Starmer of being unable to “lie straight in bed.” Speaker Lindsay Hoyle kicked him out for his troubles, but the damage was done. Moments later, Zarah Sultana from the Your Party piled in, branding the Prime Minister a “barefaced liar” to his face.

Classic Westminster theatre, but with real consequences. Because this isn’t just gossip about sleazy appointments. It’s about trust at the very top of government. Starmer spent years in opposition lecturing everyone about standards in public life, about not misleading Parliament, about the importance of security and vetting. Now he’s caught in the mother of all hypocrisy traps.

Tomorrow brings another chapter when sacked Foreign Office mandarin Sir Olly Robbins faces the music in front of the Foreign Affairs Committee. Robbins was the man who apparently overruled the failed vetting and gave Mandelson the green light anyway. Friends of the former top civil servant are already briefing that Starmer “wanted this appointment” and they simply delivered. If Robbins sings tomorrow, it could be devastating.

Because right now Starmer looks holed below the waterline. His government is nearly two years old and already drowning in sleaze, incompetence and finger-pointing. He thought his performance would let him live to fight another day. By this time tomorrow, after Robbins has had his say, he might be wishing he’d never left that nuclear submarine he once posed on for the cameras. At least underwater you can hide from the truth for a while.

This is what happens when you put spin over substance, mates over merit, and political convenience over national security. Keir Starmer didn’t just fail to ask the right questions – he didn’t want to know the answers. And now the British people are paying the price in lost trust and damaged credibility on the world stage.

The Mandelson affair stinks to high heaven. Failed vetting, overruled by officials, denied by the PM until it blew up in his face. If this is the new politics of “change,” God help us all. Starmer isn’t just looking shaky – he’s looking finished. The bare-faced liar at the heart of government has been well and truly exposed.

And the public? They’re not stupid. They’ve seen enough. The only question left is how long this lame-duck administration can limp on before the voters deliver their own verdict at the ballot box.